"From the time you emerge from the birth canal some guy somewhere can't wait to make your skin crawl."
The Cost of Being Sick in Tiffany Dollars
The holidays are about to descend upon us like the bubonic plague, my friends. Since it is that time of year, our mailbox has been brimming with holiday catalogs. Including the Tiffany holiday catalog. Obviously the fine folks at Tiffany haven’t been informed that there’s only room for one …
My Body Is My Home
This morning I weighed myself. 151.8 pounds. The heaviest I have ever weighed while not growing a human inside me. I guess that explains why I can no longer button my pants. I’m heavier than my husband now, for the first time in 25 years. The …
An Open Letter To My Dog
Dear Ace, Ever since I was a young child and I saw your breed, the Pembroke Welsh Corgi, bounding around with Her Majesty The Queen, I knew I had to have one. Those stumpy legs. Ears of a fox. Goofy, yet royal grin. I never imagined …
My Pockets Can Only Hold So Much
I like to collect trinkets from nature. Physical representations of memories that cannot be contained. It’s usually not much. A leaf with a ruby hue. An acorn the size of a ping pong ball. A shell so pristine and white I still question whether or not …
I Am Your Sunshine
I got nominated for a thing, a blog thing. Not an Oscar or a Pulitzer. I’m sure you didn’t really think I’d be getting either of those things. Or maybe you have a really high opinion of me and you’re like, it’s about time! That chick …
Your Sick Searches
I’m finding it hard to be funny lately. Could be that we only have ten years left before the planet will be irretrievably broken. Or maybe it has a little something to do with the fact that our country is being run by a bloated self admitted …
