All the boxes have been moved in. Maybe a third of them have been emptied. Just like me, their contents have found a new home. The cat is slowly adjusting. She’s found a new favorite window. North Carolina squirrels seem to be just as pleasing to …
Dear Neighbor,
Hi. Yeah, I’m the chick you called the cops on. Nice to make your acquaintance. So sorry we’ve caused you so much distress with our walking and breathing and existing. It’s been a rough 24 hours. Yes, we’ve only been here for a day and you …
Sing The Praises Of Mary Jane
I’m listening to the caconophy of movers packing everything I own into boxes. Paper crinkles, tape screeches as its dragged across cardboard. Music plays in the background, old school hip hop. Every now and again I hear an unfamiliar ring tone and twitch a little bit …
Be As Undignified As Possible Whenever It’s Possible
I am not even going to lie to you. I think I’m a little bit hilarious. Having a sense of humor while growing up among 5 siblings was a matter of survival. Being the baby of the family, Little me was especially vulnerable to their merciless …
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Behold The Beauty Of The Vicious Cycle
I never liked coloring when I was a kid. I colored, of course. That’s what kids do, play-doh, coloring, and incessant whining. I have one vivid childhood coloring memory, saturating the inside of an outline of a cat with rich, warm, chocolate brown Crayola. In a …
It’s Not You, It’s Me
Have you heard the news? I’m moving. Moving, if you didn’t know, is a swift pain in the ass. It requires one to go through every last godforsaken possession they own and determine, usually in a flurry of overwhelming desperation and anxiety, if it is worthy …
And I Owe It All To Crappy Coffee
Considering that my sister routinely (and accurately, I might add) described my body as marshmallowesque when we were children, you probably wouldn’t think of me as being very athletic. Well, I have to tell you, you’re right to make that kind of judgement because I’m not. …
