Area Woman Shown Yet Another ‘Unimpressive’ Penis

November 15, 2018

North Carolina – A local woman, who was just trying to do something as simple and pure as read a goddamn book in her local library, was forced once more to look at some guy’s mediocre dick.

“Yeah, it wasn’t all that great. In my experience, the guys with the unimpressive ones always want to shove it in your face.” The woman, who chose to remain anonymous, continued, “I mean, I’ve been shown at least a half a dozen schlongs without my consent and each one was more boring than the last.”

Shortly after sitting down to start a brand new book she was dying to read, the area woman was approached by a man and asked if he could take the seat next to her. Being that she wasn’t a complete asshole and trusting that most humans are decent folks, she gladly offered for the man to take the chair. After just two chapters the woman says she knew she’d regret being nice to a man yet again.

“I knew something was up. He was real fidgety. Kept moving his leg back and forth and shifting his chair so that eventually he was facing me. I couldn’t see him very well because I had my reading glasses on, but when I came to a new chapter and happened to peer over the top of my glasses I noticed it.”

“It” happened to be the silhouette of, as the woman described, a “three inch penis” underneath his very thin and flimsy athletic pants. The man appeared to be wearing no underwear.

“It was tiny. And very skinny. I wouldn’t fuck it.”

When asked what she did after seeing that the man was obviously trying to harass and intimidate her, the woman said plainly, “I just went back to my book. It was much more interesting.”

“Look, all day every single day women are subjected to shit like this. If you’re online, they’ll send you a dick pic or call you all sorts of names for simply expressing an opinion. If you venture out into the real world they catcall you or leer at you. Or ask you out and then get pissed when you tell them no. You can’t escape it. From the time you emerge from the birth canal some guy somewhere can’t wait to make your skin crawl. At some point it’s no longer surprising.”

She went further with, “And, if you think I’m letting some pathetic motherfucker with a micropenis take away the only free hour I’ve had to myself in an entire week, you’ve lost your damn mind.” 

The woman took a long sip of her latte and looked out the window, as if searching for a substantive reason why a man would feel the need to subject a woman to such disappointment. 

“If I had a penis that unremarkable I’d probably try to hide it. Or, at the very least, not act like an absolute degenerate freak who seeks twisted satisfaction from disgusting, shocking, and scarring completely innocent women who are just going about their day and hoping they can have a tiny break from the constant harassment they face every damn day. But that’s just me.” 

When asked why she didn’t report the incident to authorities the woman quietly replied, “Ask Christine Blasey Ford.”

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