Better Blogging Through Facebook

My blog has its very own Facebook page. Yes, my blog uses the same social site as that guy you went to high school with. You know, that guy, the one that believes the government is poisoning us with chemtrails and calls you a ‘sheeple’ when you point out there is absolutely no validity to his claims. Yeah, that guy. My blog breathes the same air as him.

I have a love/hate relationship with my blog’s Facebook page. According to WordPress, Facebook is the number two referrer to my site, following very closely behind the WordPress Reader. Number three varies and is usually miles behind 1 & 2. So, I suppose that’s a good reason to love Facebook. Love might be a bit of a stretch, though.

I hate Facebook because, well let’s be real here, I hate Facebook because it’s Facebook. They should rename the site The-place-you-come-to-get-into-a-political-brawl-with-your-grandma- book. I also hate Facebook because they make it exceptionally hard to get your stuff out there. Even though I have a hundred and some ‘likes’ on the page, about half of my posts will only reach 40 or so people with little to no interaction.

Were I to share that same post on my personal Facebook page I’d likely get much more interaction. Of course, I made the blog’s Facebook page so that I wouldn’t inundate my family and friends with my posts and so that random strangers could read my stuff while I maintain a modicum of privacy. One of you may be a serial killer for all I know. Frankly, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my suspicions about a few of you.

As you can well imagine, this setup is a bit frustrating for the up and coming bloggers of the world. But Facebook, in its infinite wisdom, has the answers to all my problems! All I have to do is pay them and they’ll make everything A-OK. Isn’t that nice of Facebook? For just a few bucks you could reach so many more people, Facebook always says. C’mon, get in the back of my van and have some candy, little blogger. 

I tried it a few times, mixing up certain variables to see if it would get my posts more hits. The gain was negligible. But, like that shitty boyfriend who pledges his undying love to you even though you caught him in bed with your best friend, Facebook still plays it like your relationship is going strong. Boost this post, baby. It’ll work this time. I swear! 

Or Facebook gaslights you until you capitulate. Great post, baby! You’re getting lots of hits. This one is performing way better than all the others. You are the best blogger since Jenny Lawson! Oh man, but this one’s not doing so hot, is it? You kinda suck a little bit, but I’ll help you out if you give me a few bucks. Of course, it never works out as well as he said it would and you end up feeling like a sucker. AGAIN.

I’d learned to just ignore Facebook’s incessant begging. Try it, baby. Boost this post. This time it’ll work. It won’t be like the other times. I’d basically given up on trying to grow my blog’s Facebook empire.

But then……


Facebook came back with a dozen roses and a box of chocolates and all sorts of promises that THIS TIME, this time would be totally different. This time we can make it work. Instead of paying to spread the word one piddly little blog post at a time we could promote my entire blog. I could ‘stand out’ with a targeted ad! Yeah, girl, let me show ’em how special you are. 

Ok, let’s see what this is all about, Facebook. Let’s make a targeted ad. Let’s get more traffic to my blog. Let’s do this!

Ok, baby. Yeah. Let’s do this! You just got to give me a few hundred dollars and we’ll get this done. 

A few hundred bucks? What the hell, Facebook?

Lesson learned. A loser boyfriend never changes, eh? But, since I’m a strong independent blogger that don’t need no social media, I decided to take marketing matters into my own hands. According to Facebook, these are some of the ‘simple tips’ one needs to create an ad that will make my blog stand out and attract readers:

  • Drive urgency with words like today and now.
  • Make it easy for people to understand exactly what you offer.
  • Show how people benefit from reading your blog.

So, I made an ad, all on my own, with my bare blogger hands, that I think does all those things for the low, low price of $0.00. Not to toot my own horn here, but I’d say I did a pretty damn spectacular job. Who needs Facebook? Certainly not me.




Read it now, small