I’m in pain tonight. It’s just a way of life now. It comes. It goes. It’s dull. It’s sharp. Like any headstrong toddler, the pain does what it does when it wants. I presume it’s a consequence of the year I spent on oral chemotherapy. The tumors in my leg are dead now, so I suppose I can say the pain is worth it.
On evenings when the pain is bad I pop a couple of Aleve, climb into bed, and hunker down. If all the neurons are firing I might use the time to write. If not, I might pour myself a glass of Pinot Grigio and watch some trashy TV. On this night, my neurons were a little apathetic, but there was nothing on TV, so I figured I ought to at least make an attempt at writing.
At a certain point, though, the wine kicked in. It had kicked in faster than usual, as this cheap date made the decision to skip dinner. My apathetic neurons were now even less interested in helping me create content. So, what’s a mildly inebriated blogger supposed to do?
Blog post generator!
I found a few online, flipped through the ideas. No. No. No. Nuh-uh. Blech. Then, I found title generators like this one at FatJoe. You type in any topic you want to write about and ten title ideas pop up like dandelions on your perfectly manicured lawn. First, I entered a few generic topics. Health. Life. Humor. The wine had other ideas. Let’s see what this thing can really do!
The fun didn’t stop there. No, ma’am. Or sir. Or whatever. Here are some of the best titles FatJoe, Pinot Grigio, and I were able to produce. Not to be full of ourselves or anything, but I’d say we did a pretty good job.
The 3 Greatest Moments in Hemorrhoid History
The Most Underrated Companies to Follow in the Mass Murder Industry
What I Wish I Knew a Year Ago About Tubas
Moldy Onions Poll of the Day
What Freud Can Teach Us About Cumbersome Furniture
3 Common Reasons Why Your Unicorn Isn’t Working (And How To Fix It)
Will Anal Pustules Ever Rule The World?
No Time? No Money? No Problem! How You Can Get Crippling Anxiety With a Zero-Dollar Budget
30 Inspirational Quotes About Three-Legged Dogs
Miley Cyrus and Ball Gags: 10 Surprising Things They Have in Common
Enough content to fill a month’s worth of posts! While it might be difficult to find great moments in hemorrhoid history or Freud’s thoughts on bulky couches, I really think I could come up with a few things Miley has in common with a ball gag. Seems plausible, at least. Even if no blog posts are born from this experiment, it was so much fun it almost makes me look forward to my next night of pain. Almost. Someone pass the Aleve, and uncork the wine while you’re at it.