Been a little squirrely in the head lately, more squirrely than usual at least. My husband got a new job a couple months back and we’ve recently relocated to our new state. The finances are a bit snug during the transition. We haven’t sold our house back home yet and that means paying mortgage AND rent these days. We’re always paying off mounds of debt from my being sick for the past few years and the stress is building. It’s kinda getting to me, folks.
I was having a bit of a mental block coming up with ideas for blog posts, so I went searching for writing prompts. Write an inspirational post. Oh, yeah, I can just pull one of those out of my ass like I’m the goddamned Dalai Lama or something. Share recent travel experiences. I went to Rita’s and got an Italian ice. It was fucking divine, but I doubt I’d get 800 words out of that. Publish a manifesto. Huh? What am I, a cult leader? Share the contents of your purse. Is that a thing? To paraphrase James Comey, lordy, I hope that’s a thing!
So let me get this straight, people are so put together and focused and organized and clean that they actually want others to see what’s inside their purses? And there are people out there that want to see the contents of other people’s purses? For what reason exactly? Inspiration? Envy? Laughter? Why is this going on? I’m so intrigued. All these years I’ve just assumed every other woman had tampons, chapstick, and empty lollipop wrappers in their purse just like I do and I don’t want them to see it. Hell, I don’t want to see it and it’s my purse.
All the purse posts seemed to be from perfect and industrious folks that run their own Fortune 500 companies or beauty empires. You may have already guessed that I am neither industrious nor perfect. I’m not terribly neat or fashionable, either, but who cares? The internet has enough of those people’s purses. I’m of the mindset that the internet could use more regular people purses. Mmmmmhmmmm, yeah. Take that fashionable people.
Purse: Purchased at Kohl’s, ripped right off the clearance rack after circling all the purses like a shark for a half hour and determining it was the least offensive to the eyeballs. I kinda hate it, but I bought it to avoid having to go to another store and look at more purses, so it’ll have to do for now. I think it was $30. About $20 more than I should have paid for it.
Maps: See how adventurous I am? I’ve got maps! We went on a trip to Disney before we moved here. If memory serves, we went on three rides at Magic Kingdom, all fast passes. It was so damn crowded there was even a wait for The People Mover. I’m a native Floridian. I’ve been to Disney more times than I can count. I’ve literally NEVER had to wait for The People Mover. It was too crowded to be fun, but the Dole Whips were worth the misery. Recently, we went to a local gold mine. We all struck gold! Specks of gold. Teeny, tiny, itty, bitty, specks. It was more fun than Disney and way less expensive, but no Dole Whips, so that sucked.
Assorted cards and a friend’s high school graduation picture: The Disney cards make sense, our park passes. I just told you about that. The Marriott card is a room key. I tend to keep them as souvenirs, but then usually forget which trip they were from. Free Starbucks! Hell yeah! My daughter got this for being kind and patient waiting for her green tea. She gave it to me because I’m a big fan of coffee. See, folks, it pays to be the mother of a kind and patient person. There’s also a high school graduation picture of one of my classmates. Have zero idea what that’s about, but okay. Oh, yeah, and the business card from that guy that buys gold. I got it at a friend’s yard sale. I had no use for it at the time. But, hey, I wonder what he’d pay me for my speck?
8,000 receipts: What is my problem? Why do I keep all my receipts? I think I might have a few of y’alls receipts, too. I counted 13 in that pile and then I found five more shoved in my wallet. The earliest one I found was from March 5. I bought 20 oz. of CHY KO at Wal-Mart. Don’t know what that is. Only paid $1.78 for it, though, so I think I got a good deal.
A rogue dollar: Curled up in there, hiding beneath my phone like it thinks it can get away from me. I bet it didn’t expect me to ever clean this purse out, and who can blame it? Between this dollar and all the change in my wallet and my gold speck I bet I could afford a large Rita’s Italian Ice! Hot damn. Watch out world, guess I am fancy after all.
*Featured image made on Canva.com.