Spamalot, Like A Lot A Lot

I don’t want you other bloggers to get jealous or nothing, but I’ve officially hit it big time here at WordPress. Did I get Discovered? Nope. Post of mine go viral? Negatory.

Then, Christine, where’s the compelling evidence that supports your absurd claim that your blog is booming? 

I’ve been spammed, my friends, and I’m not talking one or two or even three or four. I got hit with one after the other, after the other for hours! It was a flurry of spam, a veritable avalanche, Spampocalypse 2017! Dare I say it was a Spamnado?

Some were in foreign languages which I was unable to discern. I am a product of the American public school system, after all. I’m pretty sure Trump would want to deport them, though, or at the very least pretend he’s going to build a wall around them. 

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That’s, like, not a language at all, right?

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Is that elvish?

 

 

Some had unique takes on American colloquialisms. 

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I’ve also heard that the road to hell in a handbasket is paved with the last straw.

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You should try the peras!

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Olé!

 

 

Some were just heaping on the praise like mayonnaise. They may have left it out in the sun for a few hours before they spread it, but it’s the thought that counts. 

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Not to be critical of a compliment, but it’s madam. I have a picture up and everything. It’s pretty clear I’m a lady. You literally said I was the enemy of confusion. What the hell, dude?

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Keep the spam coming and they will be.

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It’s a relief to be that somonee!

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Come again? Harmony? Democracy? Democratic pony?

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My pongsits are top notch, buddy.

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And, what exactly is an initshg needed for?

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Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but thakn you.

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I’d vertune that this comment saved me more time than any other.

 

 

Although, one of them was just kinda inappropriate. 

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I’ve heard those lead to dick pics, so I’m gonna have to decline your offer.

 

 

A couple of them offered some unsolicited advice on banking and binge watching. 

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You’ve got the wrong blog. This ain’t Bank of America, son.

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I’m more of a Walking Dead kinda gal, but thanks for nothing.

 

 

One comment stood above all the rest, solving a mystery that has long plagued humanity. I give you the answer to what we have all been waiting for since the late 70’s/early 80’s. 

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am what Willis has been talkin’ ’bout!

*Featured image courtesy of Pixabay.

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