Spread Love Like Syphilis


My brain is hardwired to absorb utterly random factoids and express them at the most inopportune moments. Case in point, during a conversation with a dear friend, I didn’t plan on asking her if she knew that syphilis has been spreading like wildfire in retirement communities at the exact moment we were touring a retirement community where her father was soon to move, but stuff happens.  That fact was discovered in an article I read a few years back.  That fact just stayed in my brain, much like syphilis did in Al Capone’s brain and that, interestingly enough, was what got him an early release from prison.  Just so you know, I didn’t plan to start a post on love with an anecdote about a syphilitic gangster, but stuff happens.

Anyhoo, let’s get down to why we’re really here, love. L.O.V.E. Love. I am a sap. I adore love. I love love and I love you people. No, really, I do. When I returned to blogging almost two months ago, I found that the entire WordPress circle I had surrounded myself with back then had vanished into thin air. I was forced to reclaim my blogging virginity and I was pretty damn nervous about it. Everything was new, the names, the faces, the layouts. The Freshly Pressed page was nowhere to be found and, to my shock and horror, had been replaced with some Discover nonsense. Unless, of course, one day I get “discovered”. Then, it’s pure genius. 

The one thing I love about blogging is that you never have to write alone. Usually, very quickly, you find yourself with a safe place to fall, commiserate, create, inspire, learn, laugh, and connect. That has certainly been true of you people. Well, not you, you’re a little weird. The rest of you, though, are rock stars. That’s why I wanted to spread some love like an old man with a latex allergy in a retirement home full of geriatric hotties.

The name of my previous blog was Sincerely, Slapdash. I conjured up my very own award for blogs I loved and called it “Freshly Slapped”. A fellow blogger friend made a clever logo for it. Good times, good times. I thought of doing something similar with this blog, but I couldn’t come up with anything funny. I guess I should have thought of that before I put “sick” in my blog name. “Discover How Sick You Are” doesn’t really evoke positive feelings, now does it?

So, I thought maybe I could come up with some individualized awards and, perhaps, make this a regular thing. I don’t know. In true Christine fashion, I’m just trying to figure this blog out as I go along. Bear with me. I did want to say a word or two or forty-seven about how I roll. That is how the kids say it, right? Or am I dating myself and the kids no longer say that? Ugh, I’m drifting. Focus. Back to how I run things here:

  • If I liked a post of yours it’s 100% because I fully read it and enjoyed it.
  • Basically, if I tell you I like you, I like you. I’m simple like that.
  • If I follow your blog, it’s because I’ve read a few of your posts and appreciated what you’ve got or I’m at least intrigued enough to want to give it a whirl.
  • I try to comment often, but sometimes I literally don’t have anything interesting to add, perhaps my caffeine levels dipped below normal or I have PMS.
  • Same thing with reading. I try to read often, but sometimes I’m tired or I’ve overblogged myself or I’m actually doing something that keeps me further than arm’s length from my phone or a computer. I’ll get better at it when they figure out how to implant the phone directly into our brains and I can just think about accessing your blog and, BAM, I’m there.

So, let’s get down to the matter at hand, the love spreading. Oh, that sounds wrong on so many levels. Let me rephrase that. I mean the awards, lets pass out the awards, shall we?

The Blogger Who Was Brave Enough To Be My First Follower Award goes to The Captain’s Speech and my favorite post of his is the most recent one I’ve read, Viewing Notes: The Bachelor Finale. You will probably find that your favorite post of his will be the most recent one you’ve read as well. I find that to be true of every post I read. He’s that funny.

The Blog That Makes Me Think And Touches My Heart Award goes to saneteachers.  Did My Parents Laugh? is my favorite post, so far. I have a feeling I will have another favorite post in the not too distant future. Every post is thoughtfully written, has a touch of humor, and makes me feel like I gained an IQ point or two. I plan on binge reading it this weekend and becoming the next Albert Einstein.

My Favorite Blog I’ve Just Recently Found Award goes to (Almost) Unsalvageable . My favorite post so far has been Lessons Hollywood Taught Me On The Trail. Confession time: When I finally had to decide that my body was not going to be able to get back to running after my surgery I turned to hiking to nurse my broken heart. I came for the hiking stuff, obviously, but I stayed for the stellar writing from the heart.

The Blog That Has Put My Kegels To The Test Award goes to fattymccupcakes . I had a theory that I could go to her blog and pick any post at random, read it and damn near wet myself from laughter. I was right. Fortunately, I made it to the bathroom in time. My favorite random post so far is Sit Sleeping at the Movies and Other Ridiculous Things.

And lastly, The Blogger Whose Flattery Will Get Him Not Even Close To Everywhere But Is Appreciated Nonetheless goes to Phil at The Phil Factor. Phil is nice and not just to me. I’ve actually seen him be very nice to lots of other people, too. Isn’t that crazy? And, he writes. He writes a lot. Like, I’m kind of concerned. Do you sleep, Phil? All that writing has made him pretty damn good at it. Plus he’s funny and that’s never a bad thing. My favorite post of his so far is I Love My Weirdos: Fun with Search Terms!

Well, that’s that, folks. If I bestowed upon you one of my fake awards there is literally nothing you have to do. There are no rules. If you want, you can actually pretend none of this ever happened. I won’t be offended. I just wanted to spread some love in a way that doesn’t require a prescription for antibiotics. Really, all I wanted to say is thanks for being you. Thanks also for letting me be me, but really, really thanks for not giving me syphilis.

*Featured image courtesy of Giphy.